


clumsy feelings (not so far, yet not so close)

by ohmyseungchan



Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, also some of my pdx babies and xiao, and honorary mention of 97z babies, cameos by victon members, cringey scenes ahead so prepare yourself folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmyseungchan/pseuds/ohmyseungchan
Summary: where Seungwoo is trying to be obvious by stepping up his skinship games and Byungchan is trying to not getting his heart broken.alternatively, five times Seungwoo suddenly kiss Byungchan and the one time Byungchan decides to ask about it.
Relationships: Choi Byungchan/Han Seungwoo
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66
Collections: VICFEST®—round two!





	clumsy feelings (not so far, yet not so close)

** i. **

Byungchan had always been the clingy one in his circle of friends. Wooseok and Sejin, in particular, had been the daily receiver of Byungchan's load of affection. The taller boy would suddenly rest his head on their shoulder or placing his long arms around their waist as they strolling the busy street of Myeongdong in one fine afternoon after they finished their class.

So, Seungwoo did not really think much when Byungchan came to his place, at nine–something p.m, with a bone crushing hug and asked the older if he had some food left because he had not have his dinner.

He even following closely as the older went to the kitchen to heat the leftover pizza, chin glued to Seungwoo's shoulder when he was peeking at the microwave's timer.

“What brought you here?” Seungwoo finally asked after the younger finished a half of pizza.

Byungchan glanced at him, he was lying on the carpet in the living room with Seungwoo's lap as his pillow. He contemplated for a moment before opening and closing his mouth because the older shot him a knowing look.

They had known each other for too long and apparently, Seungwoo was too observant for Byungchan's liking. With one look into Byungchan's eyes, Seungwoo instantly knew that there was something disturbing the younger.

“I'm not stupid like Jinhyuk, okay? Tell me what's on your mind or I can just kick you out from here so you won't have anywhere to go.”

Seungwoo was lying.  _Of course_. He would not have the heart to tell Byungchan to go in any situation. Even if anything happened, he would be the one to leave. He was okay as long as he reassured himself that Byungchan was safe, sheltered from anything that could bring him any harm.

Byungchan sighed and moved from his position. He scooted over to Seungwoo's side and Seungwoo's palm naturally raised to caress Byungchan's hair softly, an soothing act to encourage the latter to tell his problem.

“It's about my ankle—and no, wait, I'm still not done talking,  _Hyung_ ,” he pouted when Seungwoo was about to open his mouth. He could already sense that Seungwoo would scold him about it if he did not explain it further. “Look, it feels better now and I literally begged to the coach to let me join the team again, but he already choose someone else to replace my position. Without consulting it with me or the other kids. He basically blocking me to enter the competition now and it's just...annoying. Since no one would listen if I were to complaint about this and the other kids really couldn't do anything about this.”

Seungwoo nodded lightly, eyes tracing on Byungchan's ankle. “But does it really fully healed now?”

Byungchan shook his leg to show if it was really fine. He did not grimace or hissing in pain liked he used to a week ago.

“Letting your leg to rest for a little bit longer is better than having it healed for a short time and hurt it again because you're not careful enough,” the older smiled and reached for Byungchan's leg, giving it a gentle squeeze before he gave a quick kiss on Byungchan's head. “You can always enter the next competition. It's okay. I know you'll do great whenever you're given the chance.”

“Of course,” Byungchan snorted playfully, he placed his fist on his chest with a cheeky grin. “I'm the superstar Choi. There's nothing I can't do,  _Hyung_. I bet my fans are sad because they can't see me dribbling the ball next week.”

The older laughed at Byungchan's antics. “Do you feel better now?”

Byungchan nodded. “But I'm so sleepy. Can I sleep here tonight?”

That was not even a question and the older tilted his head, finger poking onto Byungchan's dimple and asked, “And if I say no, what will you do?”

Byungchan pinched his waist, not strong enough to make it bruised but nonetheless, the older yelped a little. Seungwoo was always ticklish around there.

“You don't make the rule here. I'm practically the owner of this place,” he got up and stuck his tongue to the older jokingly. “Now carry me to bed and cuddle me to sleep. Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

Byungchan was looking at him with his infamous puppy eyes. And if this was anyone but Byungchan, he would have kick their butt, telling them to go by theirself ( _he would even smack them down, as he imagined if this was Jinhyuk or Seungyoun_ ). But the boy in front of him had occupied the biggest part of his heart and brain most of the time even if Byungchan had not realize Seungwoo's feeling, yet. Seungwoo pretended to be sulking while Byungchan climbing happily on his back with a childish giggle he loved the most.

They ended up watching the basketball competition together next week. Byungchan's team lose against the opponent but they were given a chance to enter the regional's competition next year. Byungchan looked so delighted, hugging his teammates one by one and even the coach he cursed loudly that night at Seungwoo's place. Seungwoo could not be more happy for him.

** ii. **

“Seungwoo!”

Seungwoo's brows knitted together at the overly–excited tone that greeted him after he received Byungchan's call. He looked over to the clock on the wall and realized how late it was. He closed the book in front of him and saving the presentation he made in his laptop before stretching his long limbs.

“Hey, where are you?”

Seungwoo heard a rustling sound from the other line. A loud music playing in the background but it was unclear. He assumed the younger might be outside.

“Uh...I think I was at Yuri's house? I saw him coming from upstairs earlier,” Byungchan paused and Seungwoo heard him laughing cheerily, “Actually I was just following Yuvin and Yohan earlier. But they are gone now. And I'm alone. And cold. And I'm alone, have I told you that, Seungwoo?”

Seungwoo shook his head. How many cup of drink Byungchan had before until he forgot where he was. The younger also dropped the honorifics and Seungwoo was one hundred percent sure that he was almost at the highest limit of his drunkenness. If no one accompanied him there, Byungchan might fall asleep on the road and Seungwoo did not want that to happen.

“Okay, okay, I'll pick you up. Now go back inside the house and find somewhere quiet. I'll be there in fifteen. But don't turn off the call so I know you are fine, alright?”

“ _Aye, aye, Captain,_ ” Byungchan exclaimed loudly, mimicking Spongebob's voice. Seungwoo could imagine the latter made a salute gesture over there and bit back a smile. Byungchan was so adorable and he wanted nothing but tucked him into his bed, singing lullaby until the younger fell asleep while he watched over him snoring calmly. “Do you want me to keep talking as you driving here? I have a lot of story to tell you. Oh, do you want to listen to my story—”

Seungwoo let Byungchan's high pitched voice filled his car. He was talking gibberish about everything and sometimes repeated the same stories all over again. At some point, he did recall Yuri asking him if he was free tonight when they gathered at the cafeteria after their morning class. Yuri said something about theatre club holding a welcoming party for the new member at his place. But he had a project to submit tomorrow noon. Rather than getting drunk, he would rather finish his project and slept all day long after sending it to his professor.

“—soooo, are you close? I'm already outside. It's really noisy inside, I can't stand those buzzing noise.” Byungchan's voice was getting quieter by the time he entered the familiar block. “Ugh, I think I want to throw up.”

Seungwoo could see a shadow of a lean figure outside Yuri's place. He smiled to himself as he watched the younger's eyes lightened up when he spotted Seungwoo's car. The younger practically bounced toward his car in an alarming speed and Seungwoo quickly holding the latter before he bumped onto the car.

“Seungwooooo,” the younger wrapped his long arms around Seungwoo's neck while Byungchan's nose rubbing on his cheek playfully. This action reminded him of Sejun's adopted puppy and he bit back a smile. “Oh my god, I'm so dizzy and I want to sleep.”

Seungwoo gave him soothing pat on his back, thumb drawing circles on Byungchan's waist as he helped Byungchan hoping onto the car. “How much did you drink tonight?”

“I'm not sure,” the younger hiccuped and released the hug to momentarily counting with his fingers. He groaned when he failed to count more than three because his brain always went back to one after the third counts. “I didn't drink that much, though,” he puffed his red cheeks and raised his palm. “I swear!”

Seungwoo sighed. He should be a little mad that Byungchan was drunk when he was outside. He could not imagine if anything bad happened to him and no one else was there to save him. But thanks God, Byungchan looked good despite his unfocused gaze and the strong strawberry vodka's smell lingering around him. He looked back to see if anyone he knew also there but there was no sight of other people outside the house. Loud music blasted inside the house was the only thing he could hear. Yuri might needed some help to clear the mess tomorrow.

“Let's go back?” the older took his hand but it was Byungchan who intertwined their fingers. Seungwoo did not protest and tightened the holds. “Do you want to go back to your place or mine? Are your roommate even there tonight?”

“Yours. Yugyeom went back to his hometown this week,” the younger grinned with eyes closed. “I also want to hear you sing. Can I?”

Seungwoo mirrored the grin on Byungchan's lips and leaned in quick to give a peck on Byungchan's dimple. “Okay. Anything for you, Byungchan.”

** iii. **

Byungchan was sulking when Seungwoo found him sitting with Sejin at the coffee shop near his place.

At first, he only wanted to order an iced americano and a piece of red velvet cheesecake then went home to finish another project that due next day. The professors never stopped giving new project to the class and Seungwoo honestly felt his irregular sleeping time was coming back. He really needed to take a nap first after going back.

But his eyes caught the sight of a familiar brunette head and decided to greet them briefly before went back. He accepted the paper bag containing his takeaway orders and walked toward the two.

“Hi,” he slipped on the empty chair beside Byungchan who had his arms crossed and eyes glaring dagger toward his shorter best friend. “Craving for some coffee?”

“Seungwoo  _hyung_ ,” Sejin's face brightened as he reaching for Seungwoo's hand and shook it gratefully. “You come in the right time.”

“What do you mean?” Seungwoo asked with a confused look.

Sejin glanced at the gloomy Byungchan and waved his hand nonchalantly. “Just the usual,  _Hyung_. Byung is sulking because I have to cancel our movie date. Well, I actually forget that I have to go to Seungyoun's cousin wedding tonight. But this big baby is mad at me right now even after I promised to treat him fancy dinner for a week.”

“You cancelled our plan last week, too,” Byungchan reminded bitterly, bottom lips jutted out. “I already bought the tickets for tonight but I guess I'll just throw—”

“Hey, I'll accompany you,” Seungwoo offered with a small smile before the younger finished. Sejin was taking a deep breath as he waited for Byungchan's answer. He knew Seungwoo here was going to save the day for him.

The youngest frowned, expression softened a little but lips still pouting. “Well, only because you insist to,” he glanced between the two older male. “It's better than throwing these tickets. But you owe me the largest bucket of caramel popcorn, Sejin  _hyung_.”

And thus, Seungwoo ended up seated inside the cinema with the largest bucket of popcorn on his lap and a contented Byungchan sitting next to him. The report due tomorrow was fortunately done two hours after he went back to his place with the younger followed him and asked if he could take a quick nap there.

“Why you didn't tell me that we're going to watch a bunch of zombie?” the older was the one sulking right now. For God's sake. He was going to have a hard time falling asleep tonight after two–shots of espresso and this movie.

“You didn't ask,” Byungchan merely shrugged with palms full of popcorn. “But feel free to hold my hand if you're scared,  _Hyung_.”

The suggestion was so tempting even when he knew that Byungchan was half joking about it. Seungwoo did not waste a time to grab Byungchan's hand, causing the leftover popcorn fell on his laps.

“The movie will not start until five minutes later,  _Hyung_ ,” the younger tried to pull his hand back and whined as he failed to do so. “Ah, you're cheating!”

Seungwoo laughed as Byungchan hit his arm with the other hand.

Byungchan then proceeded to let Seungwoo did whatever he wanted and continued to eat the popcorn with his unoccupied hand. The movie then began to play and he bit his cheeks as Seungwoo's grip on his hand was getting tighter.

When the credit rolled after the movie finished, Byungchan checked the silent Seungwoo beside him. The older was looking back at him with a questioning look.

“I thought you were dead.” Byungchan spoke first with a little smirk on his lips. Their fingers still intertwined together and Seungwoo squeezed his hand for another emotional support. “I'm stronger than that. But let's wait for another minutes. My legs are kinda numb.”

Byungchan snorted jokingly. “Old.”

Seungwoo decided to ignore the remark and watching the younger swallowed up the rest of his strawberry milkshake.

“Is it good?” he asked all of sudden, purely curious and partly disturbed by the whipped cream left on Byungchan's upper lips.

“Hmm?” the younger blinked. “What is good?”

Byungchan's face was glowing under the cinema's fluorescent light and Seungwoo's body move forward before he could stop it.

He blamed the caffeine as the rush of adrenaline came through his veins. His lips met with Byungchan's for a half of second, tongue brushing lightly over the smeared whipped cream and he pulled back as fast as he could before he did something stupid that he would regret.

Byungchan's eyes widened as Seungwoo leaned back onto his seat with an innocent face.

“What was that for?!”

Seungwoo smiled brightly. “There was something on your lips and I helped you to take care of it. You're welcome, Byungchan.”

Byungchan rolled his eyes. He knew the older was joking about the last part. But he could not stop the heat rose from his chest toward his cheeks. He brushed the corner of his lips to clean the remained cream. “You could have told me so I could take care of that by myself!”

“But I don't mind helping you,” Seungwoo stood up and pulling Byungchan along with him. “Let's eat something before we go back. I'm famished.”

Byungchan's dimples appeared on his rosy cheeks at the promising mention of free food. Forgetting about the coincidental incident earlier, he tightened his hold on Seungwoo's hand, tugged it excitedly and said, “I want the usual!”

The usual that Byungchan meant was the authentic Japanese ramen shop not too far from Seungwoo's place. Still with their intertwined fingers, Seungwoo guided the younger back to his car despite Byungchan's protest that he was not a child and he could walk alone.

And if Byungchan's stomach felt funny, he would definitely blamed the delicious ramen that he ate with Seungwoo tonight.

** iv. **

Seungwoo sighed for the nth times today.

Nothing went right ever since he opened his eyes from two hours sleep after he managed to submit a report that was due this morning. One of his groupmate accidentally deleted the file permanently and they have to redo everything from the start in just one night.

He woke up late and when he arrived at his class, the room was empty. There were some scribbles on the whiteboard, though. Saying that the professor could not make it today and the class had been postponed till next week.

At first, he just calmly went to the cafeteria to order his daily dose of coffee. He successfully paid for his drink and was about to take a sip before someone bumped onto him, making his white shirt ( _out of all day, why did I decide to wear it today, really_ ) stained with the dark color of his black coffee.

“Oh, shit, I'm really sorry,” the person apologized quickly, bowing a few times to show his guilt. “I'll pay for the laundry!”

He looked at the unfamiliar face that was almost burst into tears any second and bit back any sharp remark that was about to explode.

“It's fine,” he took a deep breath to calm himself down. “Just be careful next time.”

He walked past the stranger after saying that. There was only one place he could think right now and it was the nearest rest room. He should wash the stain as soon as possible so it would not leave a mark later.

Now, he drove back to his apartment with brows knitted together on his forehead. He was dizzy and suddenly the air conditioner felt too cold, which was weird since he used to sleep without blanket even in Winter.

He had planned to sleep for the rest of the day and that was why he did not bother to check that his phone was almost out of battery. He placed all of his belongings onto the sofa and immediately went to the bedroom to sleep.

It was already dark outside when he felt something cold on his cheek. His head still spinning and he groaned.

“ _Hyung_ , wake up. You have to eat your medicine.”

That sounded a lot like Byungchan and he sighed happily. At least he was having a nice dream and this Byungchan felt too real. The cold palm that pressing meekly on his cheek was really comforting.

He continued to sleep for a little while before someone pinched his cheek, not hard enough to hurt him but enough to make him realized that he was not alone in his room.

Byungchan's worried face was the first thing he saw after he opened his eyes and he frowned.

“Why are you here?” he croaked out, voice thick with sleep and his throat felt like it was burning. The younger helped him to sit and give him a glass of warm water to relieve his sore throat.

“Your phone was off and you didn't reply to my message for four hours,” Byungchan explained with a pout. “You're making me scared and I had to ask Wooseok  _hyung_ to take me here after I finished my class. Turned out you're really here, having a fever and sleeping like a log. I've to make sure you're still breathing every thirty minutes, you know?”

“Oh, that's explain why my body is really hot,” the older had the audacity to laugh and Byungchan pinched his cheek again. “You need to eat something before you eat your medicine. Come on, I'll help you to the kitchen.”

The younger brought him to the kitchen and Seungwoo's eyes fell on the cold porridge on the stove.

“You were cooking earlier,” he pointed out in astonishment but the younger purposely ignoring him. He chose to heat the porridge and prepared for the medicine that Seungwoo needed to consume after he ate.

The older still looking at Byungchan even after the younger finished setting the table and Byungchan felt naked under Seungwoo's gaze.

“Stop watching me like that and start eating,  _Hyung_. The porridge will get colder if you keep staring at me.” Byungchan reprimanded him and gesturing the older to focus on his meal.

“Can you feed me? My arms are hurt. I think I sleep in wrong position for hours.”

Seungwoo thought Byungchan would not believe him and told him that he was being weird or teased him about being such a brat. But Byungchan's eyes softened and he reached the bowl of porridge across the table wordlessly.

Seungwoo then opened his mouth when Byungchan fed him. The porridge was tasteless. Byungchan probably did not put anything else aside of rice and water when he cooked it earlier. But Seungwoo's heart warmed at the thoughtful act because he knew the younger would not do this to anyone.

“Will you hug me while I'm sleeping?” the older asked after he drunk the medicine. Cheeks hurt from smiling too wide but he could not hide the happiness he felt right now.

Byungchan, who was washing the dishes in silence, looked over his shoulder to find Seungwoo's eyes on him. Seungwoo yawned, waiting for his answer and the younger did not have the heart to deny what Seungwoo wanted. Not after everything Seungwoo did for him.

“Okay,” his reply came in slow whisper. Byungchan cleared his throat. “Let's go to bed, sleepyhead.”

Seungwoo was the one who embraced him to sleep at that night. Byungchan could not remember exactly how he fell asleep first. His mind was blurry recalling the older kissed the tip of his nose before saying, “Thank you and good night, Byungchan.” and after that, he let the darkness consumed him with the warmest hug from a sick person.

** v. **

Byungchan laughed when Dongyeol fell to the pool. Hanse, on the other hand, immediately pulled his boyfriend back to the ground with thick towel wrapped around Dongyeol's body. Hanse then tried to drag Subin to the pool, too. But Sejin was faster to take Subin's hand and pushed Hanse to the pool.

The night was getting colder and people kept coming back and forth from the house they rented for three days and two night.

It was Jinhyuk's idea at first. Saying how his aunt had a huge unoccupied villa in Paju. Then Seungyoun joined the conversation, informing that they had a long holiday this weekend. Wooseok and Sejin were busy talking about the famous Autumn festival near the area of Jinhyuk's aunt villa. Even Sejun who was typing furiously on his phone was getting interested at the topic, stating how long it had been since they got together for holiday.

And that was why Byungchan was here, eyes watching Chan grilling the meat for their dinner tonight. Seungsik was singing beside him while Sejun was making some cocktails at the side, away from the smoke, with Wooseok and Seungyoun. Jinhyuk and Seungwoo were out buying some snacks because Seungyoun who was supposedly bringing the snack supplies left them all at his house. Sejin was furious because he warned his boyfriend when Seungyoun was packing but the latter still managed to forget them.

“We're lucky the weather is so nice tonight.” Subin commented as he sat beside Byungchan on the mat. His eyes wandered around before speaking, “Seungwoo  _hyung_ and Jinhyuk  _hyung_ took so long to the mart. I hope they didn't forget to buy my jellies.”

Byungchan smiled to himself. Subin was a freshman that Seungsik tutored this semester. Sejun once came at his tutoring session and immediately became fond of the younger. He could not blame Sejun, though, Subin was just adorable. Byungchan also clicked well with the younger. And they always offered the younger to join them whenever he could.

“Snacks are coming!” Jinhyuk shouted loudly even before Seungwoo opened the gate and Wooseok shook his head in disbelief at how childish his boyfriend was.

_It feels nice_ , Byungchan thought to himself. The meat tasted good. The drinks Sejun, Wooseok and Seungyoun made kinda had a weird taste, but they would be sad if Byungchan told it honestly to the olders. Luckily Wooseok ordered Jinhyuk to buy some milk tea earlier.

It was his second cups when everyone decided to wrap the night. Seungsik pulled Chan and Sejun with him, nagging about how their should clean their teeth prior to sleep. Wooseok, Jinhyuk, Sejin and Seungyoun planned to watch netflix series at living room. Hanse was getting dragged by Dongyeol, eyes already closed tightly.

Byungchan decided to stay for a while, waiting for the others to finish their business at the bathroom. He almost finished his second cup of milk tea when Subin leaned closer to Seungwoo, mischievously demanded for a good night kiss.

Byungchan should know better if Seungwoo would probably give in. He had a soft spot for the younger, after all. But Byungchan still felt bad when he got a pang of jealousy when Seungwoo's lips pressed on Subin's cheek. The younger busted out in loud laughter, soon followed by the older and suddenly Byungchan's stomach twisted strangely.

He got up stiffly, the remained milk tea did not seem that good anymore and hurriedly entered his room. Chan was there alone and visibly startled with Byungchan's arrival.

“Don't sleep if you haven't brush your teeth.” Chan chided him and Byungchan rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dad.”

Seungsik and Sejun came ten minutes later, saying the bathroom was unoccupied and Byungchan went outside before Chan scolded him again.

Byungchan grunted under his breath, cursing the water that was too hot and burnt his pointy finger when he tried to turn it on earlier. Seungwoo joined him a few moment later when Byungchan still busy cooling down his injured finger.

“What happened, Byungchan?”

The younger flinched at the voice. “Oh, uh, nothing.” then proceeded to continue his night routines. Hands busy with facial wash and then brushing his teeth.

Seungwoo glanced at the obvious red on Byungchan's skin. He waited until the younger was done and grabbed Byungchan's hand gently to check on it.

“What are you doing,  _Hyung_?” the younger attempted to draw his hand but Seungwoo was persistent not letting go of it.

The older inspected the burnt for a few second more before bringing Byungchan's hand to his lips and landed a long, chaste kiss on the injured area.

Byungchan spaced out for a moment. His heart was beating so fast and at this rate, he was afraid if the older could hear it, too. He retreated back abruptly, chest still throbbing and left without any word.

Byungchan knew, Seungwoo might just do a  _kiss your injury a boo boo_ to make it feel better. But this _thing_ he had with Seungwoo should be stopped. He could not go on with this anymore.

** plus one. **

The thing about Seungwoo that Byungchan kept to himself, was the crush he developed since the first day they met.

Byungchan remembered how he was lost alone in the middle of the college's summer festival. The main area was crowded with wild college students who were too stressed after the final exam was done and Byungchan did not want to join them. So, he walked toward empty place and waiting for his friends to be seen.

His friends were nowhere to be found and his phone battery was low. He forgot to charge it earlier because Yugyeom and Saerom would not stop scolding him because he took a long time to prepare his outfit. Chaeyeon was kind enough to help him chose a plain white t–shirt and checkered blue shirt, completed with a whitewashed jeans from his sister as a birthday gift last year.

The four of them promised each other to stick together. This was their first college festival, after all. And it was not even an hour after the four of them arrived, yet they were scattered all over the place.

Byungchan sighed hopelessly. It was getting late and he was obviously sleep–deprived, but his memory supplied him with the image of giving the dorm's key to Chaeyeon right after Byungchan locked his room ( _and Yugyeom's, actually_ ). The reason? Because Byungchan did not bring a bag and Yugyeom persistently suggested to give the key to the latter since they promised ( _he really despised the word right now_ ) to walk together at the festival. He also tried to contact them but there was no answer and his phone was almost run out of battery.

“Together my ass—those traitors,” Byungchan grumbled under his breath.

Long story short, Seungwoo was the one who approached him. He was smiling politely despite the late hour, asking why Byungchan was sleeping near the bushes and how the mosquitoes were going to eat him alive if he did not go back to his place.

Byungchan was embarrassed, but he almost crying when he explained the details to the older. He blamed it on the pressure he had for his very first college exam, but maybe Byungchan was also scared of being in unfamiliar place with nowhere else to go. His parents were hundred kilometers away.

Seungwoo then offered his place. An small apartment he owned not too far from the campus. Byungchan's parents might hit his head, because how could you easily follow a stranger who took you to his place at your first meeting? But Seungwoo looked harmless. And handsome. And he smell nice. Byungchan was too tired to think about anything else, anyway. It was better than sleeping outside.

When Seungwoo told him that he could use the one and only bedroom, he mindlessly replied, “Why don't we sleep together? I won't kick you out from the bed. I'm really quiet when I'm sleeping, pinky promise?”

Since that time, whenever the two accidentally crossed way at the campus, they would make a small conversation. Turned out some Seungwoo's friends were also Byungchan's acquittances and seniors. They did not have much difficulty to become closer. And Byungchan was only falling harder for the older boy.

But as quick as Byungchan fell in love with the older boy, his hope was crushed down onto the cold–hard ground when he found out Seungwoo was always nice to everyone.

**_The conclusion? Byungchan was not special._ **

He spent a whole month avoiding the older. Homeworks and group projects became his reasons whenever he was too late to realize Seungwoo's presence near him and he asked why he could barely see Byungchan at the campus.

After three months moping to his broken heart, Byungchan started to show his face around. His heart still skip a beat or two whenever Seungwoo was around, he could not help but to embrace it. He was getting better after accepting that maybe he and Seungwoo was just not mean to be.

Now let's go back to the present.

Since the darned got together holiday, Byungchan was subtly avoiding the older. He fleet to Kukheon's place, disturbing sleeping Yuvin to share his bed with him for a while until he was ready to go back to his dorm.

Seungwoo called him one day, offering a free dinner that Byungchan had never declined before. But Byungchan did not want to meet the older, not after the questionable affection that Seungwoo threw casually to him and another people. So, he reasoned that he was busy studying for his paper. He did not forget to add a little white lie that he would be very, very busy for the exam weeks preparation. Thanks God, the exam period would happen in two weeks. It was normal for Byungchan to not going back to his dorm for a few days and stayed over at his friends' place while reviewing their old quizzes together.

Seungwoo, fortunately, was quite understanding as always.

He bombarded Byungchan's phone with several missed calls and some text that was left unread for the first week. Reminding the younger to not skip his meals and vitamin. However, he stopped not too long after a week or more of silent treatment from the latter, thinking Byungchan was really busy and that he should give him some space. He did text him to call back when Byungchan was free, though.

Byungchan tried to distract himself by hanging around with his other friends. He played with Hanse and Dongyeol. He played with Sejun. And later tagging along to his library date with Seungsik and Chan. He literally did anything so Seungwoo couldn't really meet him.

“You can go back if you want to sleep, you know?”

Byungchan glared at Chan, eyes red and obviously in dire of sleep. “Are you telling me to leave?”

Chan rolled his eyes, flipping the page of the thick book that Byungchan did not care with a dramatic sigh. “You've been dozing off a few time. Also, your dark circles are horrible—hey, what time did you sleep last night?!”

Seungsik and Sejun looked at each other with pressed smiles. Byungchan and Chan had always bickering when they met but they all knew how much Chan adored the younger.

“Just shut up and finish your task. Don't mind me—I'm okay.”

Byungchan closed his eyes and no one dared to disturb the youngest. Chan snorted before continuing to read the book on his hands while Sejun asked Seungsik to review his test last week.

It was oddly quiet around Byungchan when he woke up from his nap. His head still rested on his hands and he blinked to regain his senses.

There was no one in the table and Byungchan frowned, his gut told him that the three left without him. Their books were scattered all over the table previously, but now it was clean, as if Byungchan had come alone here.

Byungchan was halfway done typing mouthful of protest to Chan before a familiar voice interrupted him.

“Oh, you're awake,” the other person sat beside him and patted his head tenderly. “Sorry, I didn't want to wake you up because you looked so tired. Do you want to go back now?”

The younger watched as Seungwoo, the very existence he tried to avoid for the past two weeks, was sitting beside him with the same warm smile he missed the most. Seungwoo waited patiently for Byungchan's answer, since the latter kinda staring at him for too long.

“Why are you here?” was Byungchan's first sentence when he finally snapping into reality. But he talked so fast and it came out too brash.

Seungwoo raised a brow. “Why? There's no prohibition for me to come to the Library. Or I wasn't suppose to be here?”

The younger closed his eyes and shook his head lightly. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to be that rude. What are you doing here, Seungwoo  _hyung_?”

“I'm taking back some notes that Seungsik borrowed for me yesterday. The three said that I should keep an eye for you—since the sky was getting darker and they had to leave you alone here. Do you want to go back now? It's pretty late and the Library will close in fifteen.”

Byungchan looked down to his phone once again and the frown came back on his forehead. He did not realize how long he had been asleep. Seungwoo, who saw the frown on Byungchan's tired face, immediately erased it with his thumbs, rubbing small circles on the exposed skin.

“Let's go?” he asked the younger and Byungchan nodded curtly. “Okay.”

The walk back to Byungchan's dorm was oddly quiet. Byungchan was usually the type to have a lot of topic to talk about and Seungwoo knew how much he hated to be in an awkward situation. Yet, their journey filled with pure awkwardness and dull steps. It was almost like the earth would crack in two if they stepped too hard on the ground.

Byungchan kept sighing every five minutes and Seungwoo was getting impatient, he could see Byungchan's dorm nearing and he did not want to part ways with the latter when he knew there was something troubling the younger. Especially if it had something to do with him.

“Byungchan.” “Seungwoo  _hyung_.”

The two looked at each other in suprise. They did not expect the other would want to say anything, especially after ten minutes of silence between them.

“You talk first.” Seungwoo decided quickly. “Mine can wait.”

Byungchan wetted his lips, a sign that he was nervous. But it was now or never. At least he would get a proper closure if his feelings were not reciprocated. He seriously needed to move on for good.

“Why did you kiss me?” he finally asked, eyes glued on his shoelaces and fingers fiddling with the end of his hoodie. Embarrassment be damned.

Seungwoo was taken aback, out of all things Byungchan might say, he clearly did not expect the younger would be this straightforward.

“I like you. That's it. That's the only reason.” Seungwoo replied sincerely. Byungchan looked up to him but did not say anything. Seungwoo then continued, “I'm sorry if that make you feel bothered. I just don't know how to make myself clear in front of you. Is that why you've been avoiding me for these past two weeks?”

“I'm avoiding you to settle my heart—so it won't beating so fast whenever you're around and being nice to me.” Byungchan muttered slowly. “But why you also kissed Subin that time—do you also like him or what?”

Byungchan sounded so jealous and Seungwoo could not help but pulled Byungchan closer to hug him.

“Are you jealous?” Seungwoo chuckled. “Oh my God, you're really cute.”

Byungchan tried to pull away but the older would not let him go. He relented and hugged Seungwoo back.

“Annoying,” Byungchan muttered under his breath but tightened the hug. “I hate you.”

Seungwoo patted his head softly. “Hmm, I love you, too.”

Seungwoo released the younger and reached out his palm. Byungchan pouted and glanced between the opened palm and Seungwoo's face. “What?”

“I want to hold your hand. May I?”

The younger frowned. “You never ask before. What's with the sudden change?”

Seungwoo shrugged. “It's different. This time, when you accepted my hand, there's going to be an upgrade of our relationship.” He tilted his head cutely to the side and blinked. “I promise I won't force you to a relationship now if that makes you uncomfortable. Just let me stay close to you—that's enough for me.”

Byungchan bit his lips. “But I want to put a title on our relationship. It doesn't make a sense when we already confessed to each other.”

“Say it,” the older smiled, his eyes lightened up. “We are what you want us to be, Byungchan.”

Byungchan had to bite his cheeks to stop himself from grinning widely. “We're friend with benefit now. That us.”

The older face fell, expression similar to a sad puppy meme he saw in instagram last night. “What?”

Byungchan chuckled and took Seungwoo's awaiting hand on his, squeezed it gingerly. “Kidding. We're boyfriends now.”

Seungwoo raised their intertwined fingers and kissed Byungchan's hand gently. “Boyfriends...I like it. Sounds great.”

The corner of Byungchan's lips quirked up. The heat started to creep up to his cheeks, but he just let it be. The wind was cold, he could make it as a reason of the rosy on his cheeks. And only then he realized Seungwoo and him stopped right under the street lamp. The fluorescent color fell onto Seungwoo's pale skin and suddenly he recalled the night at movie theatre. Byungchan wanted to give a sweet little revenge to the older for it.

He leaned in and pecked Seungwoo's lips shortly.

“Good night. Thanks for accompanying me back. I'll see you tomorrow.”

After saying that, the younger rushed to his dorm. Leaving a dazed Seungwoo and a stolen kiss from his boyfriend. When Seungwoo regained his consciousness, he shook his head with a stupid grin plastered on his lips. He made a mental note to give back what Byungchan gifted him tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! this is my comeback fic after two years of being unproductive. this is also supposedly posted on byung's birthday last year but then writer block is coming and.....i finally finish this, at last. thanks for all the mods in this fic fest for being so supportive towards every author. without you guys this story might never see the light *bows deeply*
> 
> english is not my mother language, so there is bound to be a lot of grammatical error and typo. please bear with it :( also just finished the last two part exactly on the due date, so i don't have much time to beta reading everything *cries* you probably can see a lot of plot hole, too *cries harder* hang on tight, guys!
> 
> nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy this self indulgent fic ♥ thanks for reading!


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